L.J.R. KELLY

LJR Kelly is a children's book author. He was born in London, England, and studied at Trinity College Dublin, Ireland, and Dartmouth College, USA. He lives and writes in a cabin at the top of a hill in New Hampshire, USA.

His first children's book, "Blanket and Bear, a Remarkable Pair" (Putnam), illustrated by Yoko Tanaka, is in stores.

Please order it now from:  Amazon, Indiebound or Barnes & Noble

New Yorker's Goodnight Moon

All children's book devotees will love this New Yorker Shouts and Murmurs parody of goodnight moon, Goodnight Nanny-Cam, by Jen Nessel and Lizzie Ratner:

goodnight-nanny-cam.jpg

In the great green-certified room
There was a smartphone
And a silver spoon
And a picture of—

A high-contrast, brain-stimulating black-and-white moon

And there was a musical concert by Baby Mozart

And high window guards
And French flash cards

And a fireplace safety gate
And toys without phthalate

And a sterilizer and bottle brush and bowl full of organic mush

And a bilingual nanny who was whispering “hush”

Goodnight room

Goodnight recycled baby wipes with no perfume

Goodnight high-contrast black-and-white moon

Goodnight baby monitor
And the nanny-cam

Goodnight French flash cards
Bonne nuit petit canard

Goodnight non-slip socks
And goodnight sustainable-wood blocks

Goodnight friends with unique, unusual names
And goodnight brain-development games

Goodnight digital archive of baby’s first years

And goodnight Doctors Karp, Leach, Ferber, and Sears

Goodnight wipes warmer and yoga mat, HEPA filter and sun hat,
Sunscreen, sunglasses, sleep sack, outlet cap, sleep coach, G &T coach, star charts, consumer reports,
Vitamin D, anything with Omega-3, French au pair, filtered air and—

Goodnight alpha parents everywhere.